If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
