Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
