literally had 100 drinks last night.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
