Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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