there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
nutella sex= disaster
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
