WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
