Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
