we're blogging at a bar
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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