I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
