i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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