Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
