yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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