At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
