Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
