when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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