Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
someone owes me an orgasm
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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