Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
