so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
