if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
