Duck Duck Cougar?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
