Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
