then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
