I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
