then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
