I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They took my balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
