Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize