He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
