I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
