I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
