the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he thought i was a dude.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
