You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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