my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
