I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
