Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize
