Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
