is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
