This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love having hate sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
