ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
