just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
