is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
