It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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