Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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