yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
