he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
