you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
