I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
