I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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