Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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