he wants to bone in the snuggie
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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