Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
