it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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