i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
