Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
only you would photoshop your dick
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
