Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like God shit irony all over that family
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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