Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
