why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
