I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
