I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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