All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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